To Lorrie Goldstein, F**k You. Love, Sanity.


Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with Lorrie Goldstein. That’s fine. We’re not here to skewer his career.

Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with gang violence in Canada’s largest city. That’s fine. We’re not here to skewer Toronto.

Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with the specifics of how the Toronto Sun commissions and crafts opinion columns. That’s fine, too. We’re not here to skewer The Sun.

We’re here to talk about this. We’re here to talk about a flaming pile of editorial panda-shit dropped by The Sun, showing a complete lack of education in pre-cursors for societal ills and also exhibiting scathing shreds of racism, sexism, xenophobia, bigotry, self-righteousness.

If you’re unfamiliar with how we do this, we basically ripped this idea off Fire Joe Morgan. So, I’ll be signing my $4 in royalties over to them immediately.

Italics are his words. The rest are mine. Let’s go:

We’re having another spasm of gang and gun violence in Toronto, but of course politicians don’t want to address the biggest cause of it.

Gangs and guns?

That’s the breakdown of the black nuclear family and the reality of absentee black fathers, many of whom impregnate as many willing women as they can.

You couldn’t wait three fucking sentences before making insulting, ferociously insensitive sweeping generalizations about an entire race AND an entire gender in one well swoop? Who urinated on your French Toast this morning?

1. Do MANY blacks impregnate as many women as they can?

2. Are ALL these women willing?

Do you realize how many rapes go unreported? Do you understand that blacks and whites remain married at roughly the same rate when level of education, socioeconomic class and geography are controlled for? Do you understand not having easy or consistent or affordable access to birth control / sexual education may in fact increase the number of unwanted pregnancies? No? Are you a writer who does not read?

Kids growing up in poverty without dads are the single greatest future recruitment mechanism for the gangs, the single greatest predictor of future violent urban street crime.

“Single greatest” is an emphatic superlative without numbers. Show me numbers. Give me proof. Let’s comb through the data together. What’s that? You don’t have any?

But politicians, so politically correct they’re in danger of disappearing up their own behinds, ignore this.

Unless politicians have no soul whatsoever, no politician ignores the plight of the impoverished urban core of any community. Except for card-carrying members of the “They Don’t Vote So I Don’t Care” club of the white, rich, right-wing, socially unjust. But, like I said, politicians with no soul.

Instead we get pointless calls for handgun bans. Even bullet bans. Because in their blinkered view of the world, talking honestly about gang violence, which is primarily black-on-black violence, is racist.

Guess what? When you ban handguns? Gun violence goes down! It’s true! Same with bullets! You can’t shoot without ammo! Ban guns and bullets? POINTLESS. Guns don’t kill people, sure, but they do make killing people much, much easier. And that’s talking honestly about gang violence.

Except what’s really racist is to consign entire sections of Toronto, or any city, to the terrorism of criminal gangs, without doing everything possible to combat it.

You’re right. It’s racist that despite our efforts to over-incarcerate every non-white in every major North American city under the pretense of curtailing ‘gang violence’, gangs with incredibly well-funded and well-founded infrastructure somehow manage to still exist. Man, is that a bad look for the Caucasian race.

It’s racist because most of the victims of black gangs aren’t whites, although the random gun violence is increasingly claiming innocent victims of every race, creed and colour, when it bursts into public settings like crowded, downtown malls.

No, you know what’s racist? Not addressing the issue until it bursts into public settings like crowded, downtown malls. I don’t believe you took time out of your busy day to take a social stand until it did. (Checks column history …) Yup. THAT’s racist.

Most of the victims are black, including the vast majority of law-abiding, decent people forced by economic circumstances to live in the same communities as the gangs, where they’re terrorized by what, to them, is an occupying army.

The vast majority of black, decent, law-abiding people are victims of violent crime? Is that true? Have you read a census report, an academic journal or even a dictionary recently? By the way, your terrorism point is well taken. So, at least you’re not winless in your battle against your own ignorance and self-righteousness. So, there’s that.

One problem is the chronic unwillingness of too many judges to use the perfectly adequate laws and sentencing provisions we already have — we don’t need new ones — to address violent urban street crime.

If your laws were adequate … then violent urban street crime wouldn’t be a problem. Please tell me which laws adequately address the pre-conditions that cause a desperate person to kill another person. Please tell me which laws adequately address the precursors that correlate with gang violence. List them for me. Help me understand.

Another is the unwillingness of too many politicians to spend the public money needed to ensure there are enough prosecutors, courts, detention facilities and prisons, so that the system doesn’t have to constantly rely on easy bail, early parole and plea bargains to avoid collapsing from overcrowding.

LOCK UP ALL THE NEGROS!!! (Oh, that wasn’t your point?) So, we should spend taxpayer dollars to facilitate faster, longer, harsher punishments for violent acts that have already been committed? You realize that’s like saying “I wish cancer was MORE terminal so it’d scare MORE people from smoking MORE.” People aren’t unaware of the consequences of their violent acts. People are unable to cope with the causes that force them to turn to violence as a means of ‘getting by.’

But even if we dramatically increased the rate of incarceration of gang members, that won’t curtail the next generation coming up behind them, because of the breakdown of the black nuclear family.


Also, two issues I take with your ‘breakdown of the black nuclear family’ issue:

1. Impoverished minorities have been having an issue with holding families together for at least an entire generation already (maybe you haven’t read a book or watched TV in the last 20 years, which is totally plausible given your level of ignorance)

2. Again, when you control for education level, income and geography, the marriage and divorce rates are pretty similar. Maybe you didn’t take scientific analysis in college. Fine. But you should at least look at those numbers before you single out an entire race.

I’d invest public funding not into any more academic studies of the problem — we know what the problem is —

No, you know what? You SHOULD invest public funding into more academic studies of the problem. You know why? Because if we knew what the problem was … then we’d be working on a solution? Also, problems like violence have nuance. They have layers and complexity! They are a myriad of factors that simmer together to create a cauldron of violence and they don’t all have to do with ‘black men knocking up as many willing women as possible.’ I LIKE MY ANSWER I DONT CARE IF ITS RIGHT LETS FORM POLICY AROUND THAT … that’s what I hear from you. And that sounds to me like someone who isn’t interested in learning, helping or solving problems, but someone who sounds like they’re interested in inflaming, blaming and punishing. The world does not need more people like you, sir.

but into black, socially conservative, evangelical Christian churches who preach and teach the real remedies to black crime.

HOLY SHIT. Are you serious????!!! Publicly funded churches? Is Canada a Theocracy? Also, are we saying that remedies to black crime include such policies as curtailing, banning or altogether persecuting the rights of: women, gays, minorities and academic study? Do you have any idea what a slippery slope such as the government backing and endorsing one religion, one ideology, over another would send Canada spiraling toward? You, sir, are inviting the possibility of letting religious extremism run your country on the government’s dime. You, sir, are ignoring the framework of Canada’s long-standing tradition of religious freedom and tolerance. You, sir, are a sanctimonious prick.

Sexual restraint. Fidelity. Delayed gratification. Self esteem. Family and financial planning.

Yes, because evangelicals have such a statistically higher rate of sexual restraint. Good Christians always wait until marriage, never rape anybody and never cheat on their spouses. Oh, yes, why … you’ve hit the nail on the head! Why even have laws for sexual harassment, rape or even have legalized divorce when our problems could be solved by converting everyone to evangelical Christianity – BRO ARE YOU THAT IGNORANT?

Also, where is the proof that Christians claim to have higher self-esteem and tend to be better with their money? Where is that data? What financial planning does the Church teach other than “We’re Passing Out The Collection Bin, We Hope You’ll Be Able To Contribute To Our New Rec Center”? These are serious questions that demand serious answers.

Oh, but I have more! How can someone financially plan when the society in which they live can’t afford to support the welfare of the afflicted? What level of financial planning will help them get a job in a tough economy? Prevent workplace discrimination? Solve the debt crisis? And family planning? Fuck, man, if your goal of LOCKING UP ALL THE NEGROS comes to fruition … who’s going to be left to plan families? That’ll be one empty-ass church with a lot of orphans. Use your head. The church can’t solve the problems that create and foster an environment where gang violence can flourish. You need to take care of the other social ills first. You need to provide avenues for young African-Canadians to matriculate up the socioeconomic ladder. You need to provide outlets for those at risk to seek help without feeling judged. You need to stop the inherently racist, sexist and bigoted public policies, business policies and educational policies from having a tacit hand in perpetuating a self-feeding patronism and paternalism that keeps the status quo as the status quo.

Many of these churches provide these programs on their own, but lack the necessary resources to make a societal difference.

Because churches aren’t publicly funded you numbskull. Those are called Theocracies. They have a lovely one in Iran that seems to be doing well for itself.

Black preachers know what their communities need, and are unafraid to say it, because they’re the ones who have to deliver the funeral eulogies for the gangsters and their victims.

You know who else knows what their communities need? Unbiased urban planners. Unbiased academic researchers. And, also, THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THOSE COMMUNITIES. Maybe if one of you Ivory-Tower eggheads actually asked members in communities affected by gang violence “How Can We Help You Solve This?” They’d be willing to provide a few tips! You’d rather import black preachers into impoverished black communities? What … so you could quarantine all the blacks together? Good talk.

The rest of us need to stop pretending racism plays no part in this crisis, because it does.

Who taught you how to formulate a written argument? Because your argument went like this:

– Gang and gun violence is a black problem.

– You’re all afraid to talk about the black problem because you might seem racist.

– I’m going to talk about the black problem and seem pretty fucking racist.

– You all need to stop pretending this isn’t a black problem.

It starts with decent kids living in the communities dominated by the gangs having to lie about where they live, even to apply for minimum wage, after-school jobs, because otherwise employers won’t even look at their applications.

That’s your second lucid point. I wish it didn’t take you 700 words to get there. Your argument is failing you … more accurately, though, you are failing your argument.

We should allow school boards to tax again, subject to annual audits proving the money raised is being invested in effective programs to bolster student performance in our most vulnerable communities.

Third lucid point. In fact, all school board taxes should be audited so that we are serving our students to the best of our abilities. You’re on your first ‘roll.’ Could it be that you’ve turned it around?

But the underlying choice is simple.

Wait … the underlying choice goes deeper? You’ve wasted 800 words to get to the crux of your argument? The Zenith of your intellect? YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME.

We can do the real work, or we can pretend banning bullets is the answer.

But … banning bullets IS part of the real work. You’re not understanding nuance! You’re not understanding that gang affiliation, violence and fatherless homes are subject to endless precursors which require complex methodologies for addressing each! There is SO MUCH you have to learn! I am SO GLAD you wrote this! We can teach you, Lorrie Goldstein! We can teach you so much about the incredible wealth of literature already out there that intelligently addresses gun violence, gang violence and black violence as symptoms of a structurally inadequate system that stunts the growth of some of its people due to race, gender, sexual orientation, religion or otherwise! And we can fix what’s broken! And you have the power to learn about all that’s ailing us as a human collective an—

Oh, wait, what’s that? No? You’d rather make offensively myopic stereotypes about a group of people who need a very kind different of help than what you’re proposing to protect themselves from people like you? Fine. Have it your way.

I love Toronto. It’s a beautiful city. Younge Street. The CN Tower. Little Italy. The eclectic swirl of vibrant cultures. The greenbelt. But the most beautiful sight I could ever see in the 416? Ever? A 10,000-strong picket outside The Sun offices demanding the retract and revoke every word you’ve ever written, and every word you were ever going to write, for them. That’s all I ask.

That’d sure make me feel a lot better than a publicly funded church proposed by an ignorant, idiotic imbecile such as yourself.

(hate his column? find him on Twitter here and let him have it.)


7 thoughts on “To Lorrie Goldstein, F**k You. Love, Sanity.

  1. Sorry one more thing – in the second high-profile shooting in Toronto’s recent past (and I could be wrong about this) I believe neither victim nor the man they arrested were Black. Just sayin…

  2. Thank you for saying what needed to be said and i will be one of those people standing infront of the scum media offices.

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