In Praise of the Dive Bar

divebarbitches

It’s Friday night, 10 p.m.

You and your peeps weren’t hip enough to get invited to that chic club opening down at the corner of Seventh and Pretense, and you need someplace to go.

Time’s a-wastin’ and you need to get wasted. Your liver sighs a deep sigh.

It’s time to go diving. Continue reading

The Ultimate Guide to Getting Trashed at Weddings

We just got our first summer nuptial invite in the mail yesterday. Break out the suits and the sundresses, because it’s wedding season! Time to get crunk with bffs, cougars and creepy relatives in the most unpretentious and thrilling fashion possible! Here’s some anecdotes and advice to help you navigate the wedding waters with ease. Continue reading

Daddy, What Should I Drink?

I’m glad you asked, son.

See, as you grow older, there’s going to be kids out there who will pressure you into different things, like stealing candy bars, recreational  cocaine abuse and European electro-pop. You listen to none of that noise; your ol’ man knows what he’s talkin’ about.

One thing the kids will try and make ya do, after you go to college and become old enough, of course – but probably before that – is drinkin’ beers. [*pops a bottle of Magic Hat #9*]

Continue reading