The 12 Steps of Young Adult Development as Presented by Facebook

Look, I’m not ignorant. I know there’s shit I’m spossta be doing after 6pm on weekdays other than writing self-righteous entries for a blog nobody reads, chit-chatting on the phone with a vibrant, beautiful woman I won’t tap till I meet and analyzing poorly-delivered NFL information from ESPN Podcasts like Canadians assess Arctic Sovereignty.

But it ain’t anything I’d rather be doing. I’ll tell ya that much. At least … not yet. Not when I can spit out this sweet-tasting verbiage below.

That Last Wholesome American Summer Night

Some people wanted to grow up to become doctors, lawyers or businessmen. Others waxed poetic about teaching, research or accounting.

Me, I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be 17. I still do.